We are probably all guilty of saying a little white alternative fact every now and then. ‘Thanks for the gift, I really love homemade incense’, ‘that’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen’ or ‘sorry I didn’t reply earlier. I’ve been swamped’. Here’s 10 alternative facts every traveler can relate to.
10 Alternative Facts That Every Traveler Can Relate To
1. You should check in on Facebook. A lot.
While your friends are chugging away at their day job, there’s nothing they want to see more than regular check-ins at every stop along the way. Layover in Dallas – check in. Stopping for a burger – check in. It’s also a good idea to spam your friends feeds with bulk photo uploads each day of your holiday too.
2. Strangers take the best photos
Asking someone to take a photo of you is basically like asking a professional photographer. They wont just take the first quick snap without making sure the background is clear and your head is in the frame. Instead, time is taken to make sure you get an Instagram worthy shot.
3. Everyone prepares for the security line
Since people read the signage posted everywhere in security lines and watches the informational videos playing on loop, people are well prepared for the security check. None of this getting to the front then ‘oh wait, yes I do have a laptop I should take out slowly… and yes I do have keys in my pocket, let me take them out after setting off the detector’
4. There’s really no need to travel
Why go anywhere else when you can stay in your own town, seeing the same old stuff and binge watch Netflix in your spare time. You already have everything you need right there don’t you?
5. You’ll never leave anything behind
Even with late night or early morning flights on top of all your travel activities, you will be so organized that all your belongings are always in place and accounted for. Especially your phone charger.
6. Tourist areas are never overpriced
Just because there is money to be made from the demand of popular tourist attractions doesn’t mean that you are going to be paying an exorbitant for basic admission fees and food. $9 for a bottle of water is reasonable when you think about it.
7. People on planes are so considerate
Everyone is crammed into the small, enclosed space so it’s nice to know that people are really aware and considerate of that. People won’t take their shoes off to unleash a cloud of sweaty death into the air or sneak their elbows up to take up the whole arm rest to leave you basically hugging yourself. Even the babies, they don’t even cry during flights.
8. You will never get lost
While you are out exploring new places you will always have an in-built GPS which keeps you on the right path. Even if you do veer off course a little to get a shot of a picture perfect view or chase that nice food smell in the air, your internal GPS just sets you right back on course.
9. Jetlag is a myth
Sure you may have only had 45 minutes sleep in the last 23 hours and crossed multiple timezones, but luckily there is a geographical reset function to your internal clock which automatically updates like an IPhone. Once you step off the plane, you feel fresh as a daisy and in sync with the new timezone.
10. It’s definitely not fun
Come on. Seeing new places, trying new foods, meeting new people. It might sound enticing to the untrained ears, but really nothing could be further from a fun time.