UPDATED MAR 2020. It is pretty safe to say that having to part with your loved one is not fun. Not one bit. Those who have experienced this will know all about that heavy, achy feeling of longing for someone and just how harsh it can be. In today’s post, I’m sharing a guide full of tips for surviving the long distance relationship. We are going to explore a few bigger picture tips I have learned for coping with distance and we will finish off with some tips that were submitted by friends on my Instagram page.
Tips for Surviving the Long Distance Relationship
1. Get in the right mindset
This is THE most important factor.
If you can maintain a positive mindset then, believe it or not, you can turn the distance experience into a positive one.
We all have good in our lives, we all have bad in our lives, and there is always someone in a situation worse than yours. So don’t let yourself get sucked into the ‘woe is me’ victim mindset.
That will get you nowhere but locked into a negative spiral.
Instead, focus on what you can control which is your thoughts and the way you react to the situation.
A good way I like to think about it is like this. Inside of you is a garden full of seeds. A seed is planted in the garden for each of your emotions – happiness, anger, greed, resentment, gratitude, joy, etc.
The seeds will only grow if you water them, so choose wisely which emotions you would like to encourage to grow in your garden.
Once you realize how much you are in charge of what your garden looks like, i.e. how you react to situations, and how much you can control your thoughts and positively redirect them, it will change your whole perspective and experience.
Positive redirection is as simple as feeling a negative emotion when it comes up without encouraging it and instead encouraging a positive emotion.
2. Nurture yourself
One thing you may hear a lot when talking about getting through the distance is to keep busy.
This is a great piece of advice which I definitely agree with, though I would like to add one thing to this which is to keep busy with things you actually enjoy.
Things that make you happy, things that fulfill you, and things that bring something positive into your life.
You could keep yourself quite busy by obsessively gambling, eating, shopping, cleaning, drinking alcohol or working but would they bring anything good into your life?
Sure you are distracting yourself but without nurturing yourself, your hurt is simply masked and left to fester.
For me, whenever I have parted with my husband, the first thing I do is have an at-home beauty day. Taking the time to pamper myself is something that makes me feel better.
I paint my nails, pop on a face mask and hair treatment, watch a girly movie and usually, there is some sort of chocolate involved too.
Again, definitely keep yourself busy, just remember to include things that nurture YOU.
I even keep a list on the fridge at the moment of enjoyable things I can do like going on my favorite hikes, snorkeling, etc. just so I don’t forget in those moments when I am feeling down.
Instagram: @katieshowblog
3. Slay your goals
Think of a goal that you would like to reach and work towards it.
Perhaps it is a health and fitness goal, job goal, study goal or simply learning a new skill.
As long as it is an achievable milestone you can work towards reaching.
Achieving your goals will remind you that you can do anything that you put your mind to. Come on, we all need a reminder of this sometimes.
This reminder will help give you the courage to get through the time apart. An added bonus, these achievements give you something to brag about to your partner. Imagine how proud they will be!
4. Express yourself
We have explored the positive thinking which is a huge aspect to getting through it, but no matter how positive you are, there will probably be a few days where you are just missing your loved one.
The distance can be a crazy rollercoaster of emotions can’t it?
One moment you can be all good, going about your business, then in another moment you’re watching Titanic with a half pint of Ben and Jerrys and a head full of thoughts about the one you miss.
It’s certainly not always rational, but it definitely is a rollercoaster!
It is important to remember to first accept what you are feeling and have an outlet to express it – perhaps write in a journal, meditate, or chat with your family.
Doing this will help you to acknowledge that the feeling is there without encouraging it to spiral. Instead, it is a simple acknowledgment.
Once you accept the feelings and get them out, you can begin to move on.
5. Take positive action
This is very similar to the first point, but this one focuses on the positive actions that you can take.
Positive thoughts are worthless if you don’t follow them up with positive actions.
That would be like someone saying that they are really motivated to lose weight and then turning around and eating a whole stuffed crust pizza. Defeats the purpose doesn’t it?
Positive thoughts need positive actions and it’s up to you to make the change.
Imagine your situation and the choices you have. You could sit in your house alone OR reach out to a friend.
You could be consumed about how much you miss your partner OR channel that into finding creative ways to spoil them (Pinterest helps!).
Having the actions to support your positive thoughts will keep reinforcing that strength in you.
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Bonus tips
I’m excited to share this because to finish off the post I have some guest contributors.
These lovely friends responded to a call I posted on my Instagram page and have shared their tips on getting through the distance.
I thank them all for sharing – I love that all of the responses have an element of nurturing themselves.
“I do my best to stay busy and hiking is my favorite way of dealing with that missing part” – Malia
“Gym! Just try to keep myself as busy as possible” – Karah
“I love buying something from the store that Justus doesn’t like to eat, and binging on a girlie show on Netflix” – Lauren
“I like to be near the ocean. The smell of the salt soothes my soul and as strange as this sounds.. being near the ocean makes me feel closer to my husband since he’s in a submarine under the ocean somewhere.” – Haley
Do you have any other tips to help get you surviving the long distance relationship?
To everyone out there who is apart from their loved one, I hope this has been helpful and remember every day is one day closer to a reunion.
There’s a positive thought to get you started.
Other posts you might enjoy
Long Distance Birthday Ideas & Navigating Special Occasions While Apart
5 Friends You Need In Your Life (And 5 You Definitely Don’t)
On The Importance Of Facing Challenges In This Comfortable World
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