With the holidays looming closer, I thought it was appropriate to post a guide on how to give the best gifts. I have been told many times that I am good at giving gifts. To be honest, I really love to give people gifts, especially if they are a surprise. If gift giving gives you anxiety, I hope this guide can make it easier for you.
How To Give The Best Gifts – A Stress-Free Gift Giving Guide
Listen
Being a good gift giver comes down to being a good listener and understanding the person as a unique individual. Without this understanding, no gift can go from ‘oh…….thanks’ to ‘OMG I can’t even! This is the best gift ever!’ so that is the first place to start if you want to give the best gifts.
When you talk to the person, listen to what they have to say in an effort to really understand who they are. What do they love? Do you know what they value? Is there anything that makes them come alive? What do they need help with? They will constantly be giving off subtle clues that will guide your gift giving experience – you just have to pay close attention.
Here’s a crazy idea, maybe put down your phone so you can actually be attentive when you are spending time with them.
I remember one of my friends once telling me that any time she is having a bad day there was one thing that could always make her feel better – pictures of puppies. A couple of months later when it was time for me to get her a gift, this conversation we had came to me and a puppy related gift was a natural choice. It was perfect and all a matter of listening.
Don’t ask them what they want
It’s just awkward and you are putting them in an uncomfortable position.
If they tell you things they may appear selfish or demanding, if they don’t tell you ideas they appear unhelpful – it’s a socially awkward lose-lose situation for everyone. You have to work a little for your ideas.
If you are struggling with the first step of understanding them and still not sure how to get started, ask someone who knows them well if they have any ideas. This is a good way to save an awkward encounter and still get some good insight!
Remove yourself
The next step is taking yourself, your likes and dislikes, out of the equation and put yourself in their shoes. Now that you have followed step 1 and understand them, you know what ‘their shoes’ are making this so much easier! Remember it is not at all about you so just keep yourself out of it and focus on the other person.
Your main goal is finding something they will love (even if you wouldn’t get it for yourself).
Go the extra mile
It’s the little things that make a huge difference so always take some time to put in a little extra effort, no matter how big or small the gift is.
If you are only giving a gift card, at least pop it in a cute box or sticky tape it inside a card with a thoughtful message. Choose wrapping paper that reflects their personality or leave the gift somewhere for the person to find.
In marketing terms, there are three levels to a product or service – core, actual and augmented. The core is the benefit you receive from the product – the actual is the product or service itself. The augmented is anything above and beyond e.g. customer service, warranty, etc. It’s the augmented benefits that add that little bit extra and set that product or service apart from the others. In the gift-giving world, you can add little touches of augmented benefits to add a little wow factor to your gift.
Cost is irrelevant
Gifts don’t need to be expensive to be the best because thoughtfulness trumps cost every single time. Giving something that strikes a chord in the person and invokes a feeling will be something that they can treasure for life.
A friend once gave me a handmade scrapbook style calendar for my birthday. Each month had a photo of us, so it was a calendar of friendship memories. I am guessing it was quite inexpensive but it was one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received and I have never forgotten it.
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Give for the sake of giving
If you are only giving a gift because you feel you have to, you want something in return or because the person got you a gift at some point then that attitude will show in your gift.
Once you open yourself up to enjoying the process. Try to appreciate how good it feels to give with no agenda. Your gift ideas will come more naturally and be so much better this way. It will go from being a stressful experience to an enjoyable experience where you know they will love your kick-ass ideas!
Add a thoughtful note
ALWAYS. It doesn’t matter who it’s for – a gift is not complete without a message to go with it. Let the person know they are appreciated. This is something we are often too busy for in today’s fast-moving society. In my opinion, it’s something we really need to bring back. We love to feel loved so don’t forget to remind people that you care.
If all else fails
If all else fails and you really don’t know what to get, give your uninterrupted time.
It is the most valuable gift you have.
Take them out for a coffee, to the park, to the beach, for a walk, etc. If geography doesn’t allow for time in person, make a phone call or set up a Skype date. We are all so busy that when someone offers to spend time with you, it is a precious gift. One that money can’t buy.
I hope these tips offer some insight into gift giving to take a little of the stress out of it.
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